Family violence statistics across Gippsland paint a grim picture of a trend continuing to spiral upwards and a community that needs to adopt a zero tolerance attitude.
Gippsland Women's Health chief executive officer Kate Graham says community members are familiar with the statistic that one woman every week in Australia dies as a result of family violence.
But, she says, on a local level, community members are unaware the "Gippsland statistics are horrific."
"Family violence is happening in this community - it could be in your home, your next door neighbour, your sister or your best friend. As a community we have to take responsibility and deal with this and that means zero tolerance.
"Family violence and violence against women is worse than it's ever been. We are living in a society where we are not challenging violence.
"Women in Gippsland are more likely to be raped and assaulted than anywhere in Victoria so why is that okay?
"It's like an iceberg - it's what's underneath that we don't know," she says.
A snapshot of family violence statistics shows of the 79 local government areas (LGAs) across the state, four Gippsland municipalities are in the top 12 for violence against women.
In Baw Baw Shire, the figures are alarming:

• · Baw Baw recorded a 29.6 per cent increase in family violence incidents from 2019-2020 to 2020-2021
•  42.4 per cent of children witnessed family violence incidents in Baw Baw in 2020-2021
• 1031 call outs for family violence in 2020-21, an increase of 22.7 per cent
•  89.1 per cent of incidents occurred at a residential location

· Family violence is the biggest contributor to homelessness in Gippsland, affecting women, young people, children and men.
Six Gippsland women have died as a result of family violence crimes since 2018. But as Ms Graham says, they are the deaths that have been dealt with by the courts - there could be more where the answers were not so clear.
Violence is not just physical and Ms Graham says people need to be more aware that abusive relationships may mean mental, financial, emotional or psychological abuse.
But what is the biggest driver of family violence - gender equality, says Ms Graham. While women continue to be the primary caregivers, earn less money and have less access to health and support services, the inequality and pressure will continue.
She says financial inequality is one of the reasons women stay in unsafe, abusive relationships.
"Gender inequality is the core reason for violence against women – but also the heart of the solution.
"There are a whole range of reasons why women don't leave - fear, not being believed, shame, financial...and sometimes it's just sheer exhaustion.
"As Grace Tame said, 'you just need to be believed' because it still, for whatever reason, seems to be an issue we don't want to talk about. So we question is that really happening and that fear of not being believed is overwhelming.
"If you're in an unsafe situation it is family violence. It may be that your every move is being monitored, your phone is being tracked, you are being visually monitored by CCTV - in those instances women have to find other ways to speak out.
"Women fear what will happen if they report family violence - they fear being killed or their children being killed. So when people say why doesn't she leave, that is why," she says.
Ms Graham said it was time for political, community and business leaders across Gippsland to call out family violence.
Without fail, she says when she presents the Gippsland family violence data, peoples jaws drop and they say they had no idea.
"It is not okay and we are calling on community leaders to call it out. We have to get our leaders to understand that if we want to keep saying we are a thriving, liveable community, we need to change the statistics.
"Why would people want to live somewhere where we have amongst the highest rates of family violence in the state.
"I think we have been slow off the mark in addressing violence against women, other areas have been very active.
"We have had a series of catastrophes in Gippsland since the 2009 fires and we know violence increases during times of disaster.
"I don't think we've had time to stop and say this is really bad, we need to do something.
Ms Graham says $300 million a year is spent on responding to family violence in Gippsland. That is not dollars spent on preventing family violence, just responding to it.
"And that is a conservative amount. We need government to spend money on prevention services. We need to stop it before it starts.
"It needs to be a bottom up and top down approach. We have to teach our children about respectful relationships because consent and coercive control is probably worse now than it ever was.
"This isn't a women's issue, it's a community issue and we need our men to be allies in that," Ms Graham says.

This article relates to family violence, violence against women and children and sexual assault that may confront or disturb readers.
If you are in immediate danger contact police on 000.
For 24 hour counselling and support contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732; Safe Steps on 1800 015 188.
If you have experienced sexual assault, call the Gippsland Centre Against Sexual Assault 5134 3922 (business hours) or 1800 806 292 (outside business hours)
For assistance contact Gippsland Family Violence Alliance 1800 015188 or go to www.gippslandfamilyviolencealliance.com.au
If you are concerned about your behaviour, contact Men's Referral Service on 1300 766 491.